♥~"Letting go of the past and beginning again, isn't forgetting the pain that was caused. It simply forgiving, moving on, living and loving again. To hold onto the hurt is to deprive yourself and someone else of a beautiful relationship.~ ♥
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Why A Man Should Never Complain.
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, "Dear Lord, I go to
work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.
I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies.
" God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast
for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed
their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to
the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay the power bill and
telephone bill, drove to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills,
went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 p.m. and he hurried
to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the
ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing greens for salad, breaded the pork chops
and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher,
folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 p.m. he was exhausted and,
though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love
-- which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay
home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I
will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll have to wait 9 months,
though. You got pregnant last night!"
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy.
The first man married a nurse.
Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, “Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot.”
The second man married a telephone operator.
Jeff showed them to their room, while thinking to himself, “Wow, he’s one lucky dude. Telephone operators have such sexy voices and once you pop that top button.. Va-voom.”
The third man married a school teacher.
Jeff showed them to their room and thought to himself, “Poor sap. She may be pretty, but teachers are way too frigid.”
At 5:30 the following morning, Jeff reported to work. He expected the teacher’s husband to call for breakfast any minute, but was sure the other two wouldn’t call until much later in the day.
The phone rang at 6 a.m. and it was the nurse’s husband wanting breakfast. Jeff took breakfast up to the room and when the husband opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man’s pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
“Sir, what happened?” asked Jeff. “You married a nurse.”
“Son, don’t ever marry a nurse,” the man sourly replied. “All I heard last night was her nagging voice saying, ‘You’re not sanitary, you’re not sanitary’.”
The phone rang again at 6:30 a.m. and this time it was the telephone operator’s husband calling for breakfast. Jeff took it to the room as quickly as possible. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man’s hair was neatly combed and his pajamas nicely pressed.
“What happened?” Jeff asked with surprise. “Telephone operators as supposed to be as sexy as their voices.”
“Son, don’t ever marry a telephone operator,” the man groaned. “All I heard last night was her nasal voice saying, ‘Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up’.”
Jeff returned to his desk, sure that the teacher’s husband would be calling at any moment.
Finally, at 4 p.m., the teacher’s husband called for breakfast.
Jeff couldn’t believe it, but quickly took the breakfast to the couple’s room. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man was wearing only a pair of boxers, his hair was a mess, and there were scratches all over his chest, arms and legs.
“My goodness sir, what happened to you?” Jeff asked, fearing the worst. “Did you have a fight?”
The man, grinning from ear to ear, happily replied, “No. Son, when you marry be sure it’s to a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy, smooth voice saying, ‘We’re going to do this over, and over, and over again, until we get it right’.”